5 Ways To Annoy Gauis Baltar
by gnomesbeatfaeries
Summary: Just some things to do to 'help' Baltar's transition to the Presidency.
1. 1 to 6

5 Ways To Annoy Gauis Baltar If He Becomes President

1. Call him "Madame President"

2. Include his imaginary friend in conversations

3. Ask him the same simple science question over and over again

4. Cough loudly whenever you see him smoking

5. Look at him solemnly and say "1 + 1 equals2" as if he didn't know

6. (Yannik)- Say "Gaius" with that specific accent. As if you knew the way Six does that. Of course if you live in BSG-verse, you do not know, right? ;)

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A/N- just a little humor inspired by 'citizen laura'. if you have any suggestions, please review with them and i can add them on!

michelle


	2. 7 to 8

7) (Otal the Fox) Constantly ask him if he's SURE that someone's not a Cylon.  
8) (Otal the Fox) Constantly ask him if he's sure HE'S not a Cylon.


	3. 9 to 12

9) (? Number?) Remind him that the only woman who actually wants him for something other than the presidency is a cylon

10) Constantly flood his office with requests for better science equipment in the school- highlight the fact that Laura Roslin now needs it

11) Push as much toilet paper down his poddy as you can; its all so he can better 'connect with the people,' right?

12) Remind all the children to bring him the carcasses of their dead pets for blessing, its what Roslin did!

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yeah so i had some new ideas, sue me. don't forget to put your ideas in a review or email so i can post them! 

michelle


	4. 13 to 15

Submitted By Magpie Dreamer-

13. In the middle of a conversation, turn to his left and start talking to his imaginary friend instead.

14. Steal his glasses

15. Constantly point out to him how President Roslin would have handled this or that situation better than him

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I really love this idea guys, keep 'em coming!

michelle


	5. 16 to 19

Submitted By Freddy Teddy

16. Tell him some woman called and said she was pregnant with your baby and you told her to take a number.  
17. Everytime he walks in the room, cough loudly and mutter "drinking again" under your breath.  
18. Ask if he's ever going to clean his room..use a matronly tone.  
19. The morning after some "over-indulgence" rip open the curtains, making sure the sun will hit him (use flashlight if necessary) and sing "Good Morning Sunshine!" at the top of your lungs. Make sure it's the Sonny and Cher version.

A/N- keep 'em coming!

michelle


	6. 20 to 25

-Constantly ask for his name.  
-Constantly deny that's his name.  
-Randomly give him a '6' number.  
-Remind him '6' is a bad number.  
-Theoretically compare him, and to his face, to a poor man's Obi-Wan Kenobi and hand him a toy lightsaber.  
-Say 'why' to everything he says.

These wonderfull submissions are from Tenial :), thanks for the great review! Enjoy, all!

michelle


	7. 26 to 30

More, this time from Tenial!

-Say 'God' is so bloody fascinating.  
-Act like you have no clue he's a guy and play with his earlobes.  
-Tell him the blonde guy joke.  
-Make him realize as he's president that the numbers of the human race is more important than all the hairs in his nose.  
-Ask him to count to six.

Come on guys, keep the reviews and ideas flowing!

michelle


	8. 31 to 34

- follow him around all day. Every time he talks to his imaginary friend, point at him saying "Cuckoo!"  
- keep calling him Lee 'by accident'  
- talk to other people about him in stage whispers, when he's in earshot, using phrases like "finally lost it" and "He's just 'special'"  
- constantly take sharp objects away from him 'in case he hurts himself'

This last set was submitted by mrsblonde1503, dont forget to add your own!

michelle


	9. 35 to 39

-play with his blood samples  
-intentionally laugh at him at a triad game, regardless if you win or not.  
-give him a hug and moan 'Lee' into his ear.  
-keep warning him to get off the Battleship even in green hours.  
-repeatedly tap his shoulder and see how long he gets annoyed.

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From the wonderful tenial!

-michelle


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